October 2022 – Towns of Two Halves

The town now known as Maidenhead may have been known to the Romans as Alaunodunum. But we only have the word of ‘a 16th century antiquary’ for that, and when historians refer to antiquaries you can bet they mean amateurs.

Maidenhead, Thames, Boulter's Lock, river, fishing — The Thames at Maidenhead

Alaunodunum or whatever it was may subsequently have been visited by Vikings. The evidence for this is that Danes sailed up the Tamesis before disembarking and establishing a stronghold at Reading. Alfred the Great turfed them out, making Maidenhead safe once more.

In medieval times Bristol, as a port facing the Atlantic, became the second city of the country. Maidenhead was on the route. When Brunel built the railway in a very straight line straight through it, the town’s future was assured.

Isambard Kingdom Brunel… it’s a name to conjure with. Isambard was the middle name of his French father, Marc; Kingdom comes from his mother’s maiden name. He lived to be only 53 but much of his legacy remains in daily use.

The Maidenhead railway bridge is an example. Immortalised in JMW Turner’s Rain, Steam and Speed, it crosses the Thames to the west of the town. Two main arches of 128ft meet in mid-stream on a small island. The arches were the flattest ever attempted, for their extent, and the nervous owners of the Great Western Railway asked that the wooden supporting structure used during the bridge’s construction be left in place, by way of insurance. Brunel acceded, but lowered the structure slightly to leave his brickwork to its own devices. The wood was later washed away by floods; the bridge remains.

Maidenhead, Maidenhead Town Hall, fountain — Civic buildings: the Town Hall

Just a couple of hundred yards upstream is the road bridge that carries the A4 over the river. In the old coaching days, a wooden bridge replaced a ferry on the road to Bath and the west out of London. Maidenhead grew up as a place at which travellers rested, stayed overnight, had a meal etc, while the teams of horses on their coaches were changed. In one instance, apparently, the ostler of an inn was the same individual who would have held them up had they been foolhardy enough to press on through Maidenhead Thicket after dark.

The stone road bridge built in the Georgian period also inspired art. Jacques Joseph ‘James’ Tissot painted a rather lantern-jawed young lady disembarking on the north side of the bridge in The Return from the Boating Trip. It’s not his best, if you ask me, and the young lady doesn’t look greatly impressed either.

And another quarter mile upstream is the scene of a third painting, Edward John Gregory’s Boulter’s Lock, Sunday Afternoon. This depicts many, many pleasure craft of the late Victorian era approaching or leaving the aforementioned lock. Very few of the boaters are looking what they’re doing and one blogger has suggested the painting might be a poster for a Water Safety campaign. The original is in the Lady Lever Gallery on Merseyside; you’ll find a copy in the Maidenhead Heritage Centre, between the football ground and the town centre.

Maidenhead, Maidenhead Heritage Centre, ATA, Spitfire, flight simulator — Maidenhead Heritage Centre: a Spitfire simulator will put you through your paces

The Heritage Centre is quirky and very attractive. Downstairs, carefully laid out to make the best use of limited space, is a cute little local museum. Pride of place goes to an early motor car, from a time 100 years ago when Maidenhead led the world in automatic transmission. Upstairs, for a small fee (£3.50 in 2022) is a very sophisticated Spitfire flight simulator, featuring a cockpit, multiple screens and an instructor who uses appropriate lingo – “let’s try a roll-out now”. With surrounding exhibits it commemorates the Air Transport Auxiliary, a WWII civilian initiative set up to move military aircraft around. The ATA had its headquarters two miles away at White Waltham. It was supposedly unique in recruiting women pilots and giving them equal pay. That’s as maybe; while I was there, the people trying out the simulator were men of my age. I didn’t join the queue – I had a substandard football match to go to.

Maidenhead United 1 Oldham Athletic 1
York Road, 8 Oct 2022

Bromley, Owl Prowl, public art, Amanda Quellin — Owl Prowl: a Bromley attraction in summer 2022. This one is called Nocturnals, by Amanda Quellin

Oldham Athletic’s descent into the National League obliges me to face my own prejudices. They came most sharply into focus recently as I walked through Bromley, looking for something to say about it.

But if I found Bromley characterless and uninteresting, and if I expect to react in much the same way to Wealdstone, Dorking and others, I should perhaps try to see Oldham through the eyes of supporters of those clubs. When Bolton Wanderers’ first taste of European competition was against Lokomotiv Plovdiv in the UEFA Cup in 2005, ticket sales were initially disappointing. Plovdiv, it was suggested in the UK press, were not the most attractive opponents. Nobody thought to ask residents of the cultural capital of Bulgaria how they regarded the prospect of a trip to Bolton.

Bromley, Charles Darwin, HG Wells, Market Square, public art, murals — The Darwin mural, Market Square

In Bromley, I wandered idly up the High Street, along West Street and back down East Street where, to pass the time, I ate an outstanding pie in the Cow & Pig. The route brought me back to Market Square, where echoes of a more bucolic past go beyond the name.

First, there’s a municipal water pump on the eastern side. Behind it, occupying a three-storey gable end, is a mural devoted largely to Charles Darwin.

Darwin, depicted as a younger man than the Biblical white-beard we are familiar with, is sitting beneath a tree. He appears to be taking notes. References to his accomplishments are recorded at intervals across the foliage. Darwin lived at Downe, a few miles away.

There are nods to other notable locals. The trail-blazing archaeologist John Lubbock is a small figure in the distance to Darwin’s left; and emerging from the upper left of the tree is HG Wells.

Wells was born only a stone’s throw away, on Bromley High Street, and this same wall had previously been adorned with a mural celebrating his work. Wells may no longer merit his own mural but the site of his birth – now Primark- has a blue plaque. This isn’t a National Heritage plaque – that one is close to Regent’s Park – but it indicates the abiding popularity of the author. At least 11 plaques, in various colours, record the presence of Wells at various stages of his life in places as far apart as Sevenoaks and Stoke-on-Trent.

Bromley, Picturehouse, Art Deco, cinema, architecture — Bromley Picturehouse: a six-screen Art Deco cinema beautifully restored

It would be dishonest, though, to leave the subject of HG Wells without noting that he didn’t appear to be particularly fond of Bromley. He might also have found the rest of the town’s literary heritage decidedly middle-brow. Enid Blyton lived for a time on Shortlands Road, recorded by another non-EH blue plaque. Richmal Crompton, creator of William, lived the last years of her life at Bromley Common. But more recently Hanif Kureishi was born and grew up in Bromley.

At the match, the question of whether Bromley was or was not dull became entirely moot. The only relevant fact about Bromley that afternoon was that it had a much better football team than Oldham. Onwards and upwards? Not necessarily…

Bromley 3 Oldham 0
Hayes Lane, 24 Sep 2022