Oldham Athletic’s descent into the National League obliges me to face my own prejudices. They came most sharply into focus recently as I walked through Bromley, looking for something to say about it.
But if I found Bromley characterless and uninteresting, and if I expect to react in much the same way to Wealdstone, Dorking and others, I should perhaps try to see Oldham through the eyes of supporters of those clubs. When Bolton Wanderers’ first taste of European competition was against Lokomotiv Plovdiv in the UEFA Cup in 2005, ticket sales were initially disappointing. Plovdiv, it was suggested in the UK press, were not the most attractive opponents. Nobody thought to ask residents of the cultural capital of Bulgaria how they regarded the prospect of a trip to Bolton.
In Bromley, I wandered idly up the High Street, along West Street and back down East Street where, to pass the time, I ate an outstanding pie in the Cow & Pig. The route brought me back to Market Square, where echoes of a more bucolic past go beyond the name.
First, there’s a municipal water pump on the eastern side. Behind it, occupying a three-storey gable end, is a mural devoted largely to Charles Darwin.
Darwin, depicted as a younger man than the Biblical white-beard we are familiar with, is sitting beneath a tree. He appears to be taking notes. References to his accomplishments are recorded at intervals across the foliage. Darwin lived at Downe, a few miles away.
There are nods to other notable locals. The trail-blazing archaeologist John Lubbock is a small figure in the distance to Darwin’s left; and emerging from the upper left of the tree is HG Wells.
Wells was born only a stone’s throw away, on Bromley High Street, and this same wall had previously been adorned with a mural celebrating his work. Wells may no longer merit his own mural but the site of his birth – now Primark- has a blue plaque. This isn’t a National Heritage plaque – that one is close to Regent’s Park – but it indicates the abiding popularity of the author. At least 11 plaques, in various colours, record the presence of Wells at various stages of his life in places as far apart as Sevenoaks and Stoke-on-Trent.
It would be dishonest, though, to leave the subject of HG Wells without noting that he didn’t appear to be particularly fond of Bromley. He might also have found the rest of the town’s literary heritage decidedly middle-brow. Enid Blyton lived for a time on Shortlands Road, recorded by another non-EH blue plaque. Richmal Crompton, creator of William, lived the last years of her life at Bromley Common. But more recently Hanif Kureishi was born and grew up in Bromley.
At the match, the question of whether Bromley was or was not dull became entirely moot. The only relevant fact about Bromley that afternoon was that it had a much better football team than Oldham. Onwards and upwards? Not necessarily…
Bromley 3 Oldham 0
Hayes Lane, 24 Sep 2022