Tottenham Hotspur Stadium

Tottenham Hotspur Stadium

Hard-core members of The 92 aim to keep their membership up-to-date. Aside from League 2’s annual intake, they also try to visit the new stadia that clubs continue to build and move into.

I go to Sutton, Hartlepool and the like for the sake of a day out, but I’ve never been too bothered about new grounds. The paperback version of Towns of Two Halves shamelessly records visits to Burnden Park, Highbury and Plough Lane among many other half-forgotten football venues. On this as on so many other subjects, I am (as Gore Vidal said of Thomas Jefferson’s relationship with truth) occasionally prone to it but never fanatical.

Tottenham Hotspur Stadium
View from the Broadcast Booth: the gods, in the language of theatre, or paradis in French

On the other hand, it seems negligent to go to the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium and not write some sort of report. It is, after all, one of the modern wonders of the football world.

Pros and cons, then. Or, in this case, a Con first:

Con
1) As at so many other top-flight football grounds, it is not easy for a casual admirer of good football to get a ticket. One way round this is to fork out for one of Spurs’ many hospitality packages. A related Con, then, is that my visit (on the ‘Broadcast Booth’ ticket) cost a small fortune. But this turned out to be a Pro, too.

Back, then, to the usual order:
Pros
1) Watching top-class football from a box in the gods, waited on hand and foot, in comfort and warmth – it’s a treat.
2) Booking online: the club website is clear enough in laying out the options.
3) The people who work in its marketing department are accessible and helpful.
4) On matchday, there are plenty of easily identified staff in attendance.
5) The views from the 9th floor, outward over London and inward over the pitch, are sensational.
6) The catering is lavish.
7) The waiting staff, Spurs Legends, managers and engineers are attentive, efficient and pleasant.

Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, Aston Villa
Far below, Spurs run the clock down to preserve a 2-1 lead over Aston Villa

Cons
1) Parking is not included in the package.
2) Tickets and itinerary were not provided until four days before the fixture.
3) Tickets are supplied digitally and must be downloaded (in the case of Android phone owners) to Google Pay. Yes, that’s the same Google that was massively hacked in January 2020. An independent YouTube video guide to Google Pay suggests that “if you’re at all concerned about entering your bank details, perhaps Google Pay isn’t for you”.
4) Nobody checked my Covid status at the stadium.
5) This is a winter game: coat hooks in the booths shouldn’t be too much to hope for.
6) Alcohol was not permitted in the booth while the match was in progress.
7) The screen in our booth showed the Aberdeen/Celtic match happily enough but we could coax no action replays of the game in front of us.

Overall, the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium is a remarkable and beautiful place. The quality of the game you see would almost be irrelevant. In my home town, there is a restored Art Deco cinema that is so gorgeous you could enjoy just sitting in it for the length of a film – Spurs’ new home is in that category.

Endgame

broadcasting, closed doors, camera, empty stand
No fans, but at last it’s ‘Lights, Camera, Action!’

This is how the season will end… not with a bang but with a whimper.

Actually, the return of the Premier League has made no difference to me so far. Too tight to pay for a subscription and too lazy to find a free live stream, I’m waiting for the mouth-watering Bournemouth v Crystal Palace clash on the BBC.

Meanwhile, there’s the radio. Radio 5’s coverage of the game between Villa and Sheffield United yesterday recalled a distant era. For the Ashes Test series in England in 1930, ‘live’ commentaries were read to the insomniac Australian radio audience by local presenters reading cables, ball-by-ball. There were no background noises beyond the hiss of steam radio; no thwack of willow on leather, no audible cries of “Oh I say, jolly well played,” and no crowd responses. Very much like most of the match at Villa Park (where, by the way, if that’s the quality of the officiating and the technology, points-per-game would have been a fairer way of finishing the season).

United!

Towards the end of its 6.30pm bulletin on 28 May, ITV News put up a graphic to accompany its story on the return of Premier League football. The first matches to be played, it said, will be Manchester City v Arsenal and Aston Villa v Sheffield.

Anyone can make a mistake. But this one came barely two hours after a similar piece on Radio 5 Live’s Drive show, in which an over-excited reporter repeatedly referred to the Aston Villa/Sheffield Wednesday game restarting the league programme.

That’s less forgivable. What sort of an ear must a sports reporter have for the juxtaposition of Aston Villa, Sheffield Wednesday and Premier League not to sound wrong? How come nobody else involved in the programme noticed such a simple error – or, if they did, failed to correct him? Try to imagine the first line on the ITV caption reading ‘Manchester v Arsenal’. Or the radio presenter hearing his colleague say ‘Manchester United’ instead of ‘Manchester City’. Do you suppose the mistake would have gone uncorrected?

It’s improbable. Football is still three weeks away. But the condescension habitually shown by the media to ‘smaller’ clubs is roaring back.